Hardwick

It’s always a pleasure playing at Hardwick, built by Joseph Bickley in 1907, and offering the same wonderful surface as the one we enjoy but without the imperfections. And we were lucky because it wasn’t too cold! First up in the 60s band were Paul Smith, fresh from Moreton Shield banditry and Mark Savage, always fresh from bouts of banditry. Unfortunately they had left their sombreros in a roadside bar and having lost the first set and when 5/4 up in the second set, they managed to throw their bulletless holsters away with a whimper. Like waiting for royalty, we awaited the arrival of the Prophet who explained that he thought his match started at 12.45 rather than an hour earlier. In response to the polite interrogation ‘Where the hell are you?’ he answered with a vague economy of the truth from within the depths of his crash helmet ‘Ten minutes away.’ After a long knock up for his partner Tony Branfield, he did eventually appear, in a manner not dissimilar to the Ghost of Banquo. After a trip to the changing rooms, he announced that he was not in the best of health for reasons I won’t elaborate upon but it was a case of how to clear a dedans in double quick time. Sadly Banquo donned his motor cycle helmet and returned to the A34. Concern was uttered as to the wisdom of the move. Anyway life must go on and Paul Smith was commandeered but had to play off the 49 handicap of the ghostly one rather than his own 67. After a few barked instructions from Branfield Smith took up his position and found his sombrero hiding in the galleries. Not that he himself had much cause to hide using his cricket experience to play a number of excellent short range volleys that put his opponents on the back foot. Following closely to the law of unintended consequences- Messrs Smith and Branfield profited greatly and coasted to a magnificent victory. And now to the 30s pairing of the Chairman and Craig Swallow whose Sat Nav had dumped us in the rather unprepossessing Hardwick Road in Reading which lacked the leafy beauty of the Hardwick Estate five miles away. There was a suspicion that the sat nav failed to cope with a slight error of input at the outset … Nonetheless such a journey round the Wrekin did the MMTCC pair no harm as they cruised to victory over Simon Constantine and John Lillie. The former was clearly weighed down by the responsibility of chefing for the day but received limited support from his partner who failed to step up to the plate let alone clean it post prandially. To quote a leak from within the bowels of the Hardwick higher echelons, John Lillie played 4 matches for his newly acquired club over the weekend and lost the lot. A case of 4 X 4 or ‘Fourby’.

With MMTCC 2-1 up and in danger of a most unusual win in the Thames Valley League (I’m not sure how we qualify geographically) it was up to Keith Beechener and Mark Leefe to apply the finishing touches – which they achieved with admirable aplomb …

In all seriousness it was an excellent day- a warm welcome, an inviting wood burner, a meal that was Stein, Rhodes (RIP) or Mary Berry-like, a wonderful court surface to play on and as a bonus, a victory! And mercifully our very own Banquo having eschewed the Hardwick banquet, returned to the real world in one piece …